The Bipolar Otaku

Barbeque at a friends house. Watched 40 Days and 40 Nights. It reminded me of seemingly divinely inspired lenten vows of recent history... Ouch. At least I wasn't like that guy. Actually I kind of wish I had his problem rather than mine...

I think I talked about it before, but it's on my mind again. So anyway, last lent (in case you didn't know) I gave up using credit cards (or PayPal-type services), gave up eating meat (all meat, except seafood), and promised myself to change my life around. I kind of did that I guess. I didn't use credit cards (and probably worried the crap out of my banks). I only ate meat twice. And as for changing my life around... well, I started seeing a psychiatrist (still am). I started talking about all of my problems (still do). I interviewed for a new job (the one that I'm starting on Monday). I tried to make new friends (results have varied). I tried to find my faith (still working on that). I started writing this blog to talk about my difficulties (obviously still do). I tried to feel less needy (pretty much still true). I stopped drinking (still don't, but sometimes really want to). I guess it's a start. Of course as soon as I could use my credit card and PayPal again, I almost immediately started a spending spree. At least eating meat has changed a lot of my taste in food; I can eat meat, but usually prefer not doing so. But was it all worth the sacrifice during lent? I guess so. I don't know.... It's just that.... um... hmmm..... maybe it's just that I'm depressed at the moment? Some sort of separation anxiety perhaps? Or maybe disappointment about how some recent situations turned out to be not too interesting? Whatever it is, I have to let it go. One more day of unemployment! I should be exctied! Maybe I just need to sleep.