The Bipolar Otaku

Okay, an 8 hour drive by myself is do-able, even after working a 10 hour day. The way there wasn't to bad, except for when I stopped for dinner at a Mr Sub at a service drive... I had a veggie sub (no mad cows, thank you very much!) and then while getting gas I bought a couple of snickers bars... then after getting on the expressway, I decided I wasn't ready to start driving yet, so I got off at the next exit and hunted for a 7-11... then, because I didn't find a 7-11 after about 6 miles, I turned around I decided I needed a Jamocha shake from Arby's, and 2 Cappucinos from a "Coffee Pub" (a pretty poor cappucino, also... they had to use one of those auto-frothing thingies, which really suck)... Then I got back on the road, refreshed... and realized that I'm running manic... I also displayed that mania while helping to light the fire on Saturday night (I must say, although lighting fires is fun, diesel fuel should probably not be given to a manic who is intent on lighting a fire!)

The way back wasn't too bad either... I got a little drowsy a couple of times, but I had a plate full of brownies and an MP3 player to keep me company. Coming across the bridge to Port Huron was a pain in the a-- though... almost a two hour wait, and I was probably one of the quicker ones...

But the problem wasn't the drive... it was being by myself. It's like pure thinking time... On the way there I had people to talk to from time to time... friends who were on their way already who I was getting directions from, friends and family at home who called to check up on me (and almost got me in trouble with the border guard, too). But the way back, I couldn't get a hold of anyone... So I started thinking about... stuff. Actually, I was thinking that I want to do the mask talk again at next year's SAFE retreat. What would I talk about though... One version of the speech that ran through my head was about how bitter I am about everything. I think this was somehow a reaction to one of my friends telling me that I never get stressed out (I'll cover that conversation later), or to me feelings while we were on the wine tour, and I couldn't taste the wines at the new winery. But that thinking just got me depressed... I wanted to lash out somehow, and had nothing but the gas pedal to do it with. So then I started other versions of the speech, which would basically apologize for lying last time.... Those were more like "me", somehow... Music accompaniement will be "Found Soul" by Nickel Creek. I'll have to talk about it later. I have to go to sleep.... probably shouldn't have bought the 40 oz Slurpee...