The Bipolar Otaku

Well, I wasn't here to give away candy myself, so I left a bowl out front with 48 full-sized Snicker's bars. Luckily, they didn't leave any behind, so I won't be tempted to eat any... but I am wondering how many people were actually able to take some (ie did the first person just dump the whole bowl in their sack???)

Anyway, I was at church for another Halloween party. There was some dancing and stuff, but there really weren't that many teens that showed up. I played photographer most of the time, but I did jump in and danced from time to time. I tried to do the limbo again, but my back was in no condition to reprise yesterday's performance, and now it's really sore. The winning costume for the night was a girl who dressed up as the 6th member of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

But I've still been thinking... I need to call my friend's wife tomorrow night, and ask about the girl. I can't just let this hang. If there's a chance, I have to try to pursue it. Letting it just linger and die for another year would be a mistake, and I know it.

One of my friends up in Saginaw used to throw the annual Halloween party up in Saginaw. It's an hour or more drive, but it was always worth the trip. However, after working out of the country for a couple of years, the tradition was all but forgotten, at least until yesterday. But, considering almost none of our fellow college buddies showed up, maybe the tradition is, in fact, forgotten.

But I really didn't go to the part to see our college friends, I really went to see his wife's friends. There is one in particular. There always is, isn't there? I first met her at the Halloween party four years ago. I thought we hit it off pretty well, her as a witch and I as Tiger Woods. At least I thought so up until the point where she left early, promised that she'd come back. What she didn't say was that she was heading off to here boyfriend's party, and naturally she never came back. Tiger ended up hooking up with someone else still at the party (a true display of going coyote, to be honest).

So we met again the next year. I think she was a leopard that year and I was the Phantom of the Opera, but she still called me Tiger. I forgot her name, but it was forever ingrained in my head after that. But the leopard was with her boyfriend. We still hit it off pretty well, though nothing was going to happen.

Next we met at my friends wedding a year later. I thought for certain that she had a ring that time. I could have sworn that she told me she was married now. She said that she'd invite me to the upcoming Super Bowl party, telling me I'd never show up anyway. I promised that if she got a hold of me, that I'd be there. She never got a hold of me, so I worked this past Super Bowl Sunday.

But yesterday... Yesterday, it was the annual Halloween party reborn. To make to the party at a reasonable hour, I had to stop watching the University of Michigan v. Michigan State University football game. It was 20 to 10 (MSU lead) and only a few minutes left; U of M (whom I was rooting for) was doing horribly, so I didn't feel bad about leaving. It ended in triple overtime, U of M winning the game. In other words, thanks to my hour and a half drive, I missed all the important parts of the game... wah....

But when I got to the party (dressed up as Mickey the Sorceror's Apprentice), there was hardly anyone there, just some of their friends, most in costume, but some not (yet... they improvised well in short time). I didn't know most of the people there, but it was okay. After a few beers, one of my college friends came, and we stood around talking for a while. They eventually left. I gave up on the beer and moved on to diet Coke and chewing gum, trying to try to start sobering up before I decided to drive back home. I had hoped on seeing either more of my college friends, or at least on seeing this girl, but I was being disappointed. Someone then mentioned that she and a couple of other friends went to the game; I'm still pissed I missed the end.

I was almost done with my Coke when they walked in, she just in a U of M shirt screaming Go Blue! and another couple (Beast and Bob the Builder). No sign of her significant other. No sign of a ring either, and throughout the night it even seemed like she had been recently broken up (just guessing based upon some random song lines that she decided to sing louder than others). So I grabbed another beer and returned to party mode. Once again, I think we hit it off well. We talked, we laughed, we danced, we sang, we cheered (Go Blue! Go Gold!), we sang the Victors (the U of M fight song), we drank, we had a limbo contest (she won, even though this was by far the lowest I've ever gone, especially with my Sorceror's Apprentice hat on, or with a beer in hand), we had a limbo rematch (this time it was a draw, we both made 2'4" but both lost it at 2'1"). So, in other words, we had a good time.

Eventually she decide to crash. She was supposed to be at work at 6 in the morning (inventory check at Bath and Body Works... rather cruel thing to do at 6am on a Saturday, IMO), and it was already 2am. She crashed on a single bed in one of the spare bedrooms. I ended up crashing about an hour later (the new 2am, care of the daylight savings time change) on a airbed in the living room. Her friend and her friend's boyfriend tried to playaround in the pullout bed upstairs in the same bedroom she was in, which prompted her to go into a rage and she moved to the couch in the living room. It seemed like I couldn't get back to sleep after that. I just lay awake, listening to the gentle breathing. I must of faded into a ilght sleep, because I woke up to an alarm. She got up, looked at her clock, which I'm sure said that it was a few minutes before 6. She grabbed a change of clothes, went to a bathroom, woke up her friend and took her friend's car keys. She was just about to leave when I stuck croaked out a single word:
"Five."
"Oh, bye." she snapped and still was making sure she had everything.
"No... Five!"
"Huh?
"It's only five."
"Are you f*cking with me? You had better not be f*cking with me."
"Yeah, 'Fall back', remember?"
We discussed it a little bit more, looking at various clocks in the house... her cell phone said 6, the stove said 6, the clock on the banister said 6, my watch (which I changed when 3am rolled around) said 5, the VCR said 5, my cell phone said 5. She plopped down on the love seat and I on the couch and we joked about how much of a panic she was in (this was only her 3rd day on the job). She went back to the bathroom to take a shower, while I dug around for coffee... We talked some more about bruises and sore muscles... She left for work (giving me a hug before leaving) and I crashed on the couch.

She was back from work by the time I woke up. The had decided to go to breakfast, but I figured that it was alrady 11:30 and I should go home, so I passed on breakfast. Still have to go to church this afternoon, and I kind of wanted to wash the beer off my costume first.

But that's where the story ends, I think. It's just a short term infatuation, one that comes back every Halloween. Just a little bit of fun, no pressure because it's obviously not going to go anywhere. If I had the guts, I might ask my friend what the scoop is on her... if...

It sounds like Disney has delayed their release of three more Studio Ghibli anime movies, namely Porco Rosso, My Neighbor Totoro, and Nausicaa of the Valley of the Winds (one of my personal favorites)... The release which was scheduled in August, delayed to February, and is now completely off the release schedule. Those bastards...

Well, I guess I'm going to miss WFAC this year. That's Waterloo Festival for Animated Cinema, in Waterloo, Ontario. I went last year, mostly because they were debuting Wonderful Days. As for this year's schedule, I hardly recognize any of it. Oh well, might have been interesting, but way too much going on.

I always figured they would look more interesting, but I guess not... Even using a 300mm lens, that's about all the detail I could get.



I guess it would have made an interesting backdrop to Halloween, if it were only 4 days later, but I guess nature usually doesn't like playing to our schedules, does it?

For over two years, I've been telling the dentist's office to call me directly on my cell phone; do NOT call my mother. This is the same dentist I've been seeing since childhood. The office is run by a Filipino woman who knows my mother well. I might as well have been pushing a rope...

So last January, they told me they needed to do a major cleaning of my gumline, and it would take approval of my dental provider. Yeah, they'd call me when they have approval. Yes, they will call me directly. No, they won't call my mother. Yes, my mother's phone number has been removed from my files.

So, 8 months later, they call me up and say they have approval. They never asked if I changed insurrance, so I ask them if they verified that the insurance (which I thought would have lapsed by now) will still pay for it. Yes, they verified it. Everything should be all set. They've been trying to get a hold of me for months, but my mother must have never passed the message along. But I get there and they're all in a scramble because nothing checks out anymore. Go figure.

I don't think I need to deal with them anymore. If they can't get something as simple as my phone number correct, I don't think they need my money...

I had appointments with my psychiatrist and an eye doctor today. Dentist is tomorrow. One of my coworkers asked "What, are you falling apart?" Whatever the reason, it actually does seem like I always have a lot of doctors appointments at the same time. Kind of like when I was interviewing for my job, I had a psychiatrist appointment, a blood test, a drug test, a allergist appointment, and a dentist appointment within one week.

Anyway, psych tells me I seem to be doing ok. I told her I was a little down for a little while for being a youth group tweener, but that I thought it passed. Manic attacks seem to be relatively in check, but I'm sure that will change come Christmas season. Secretly, I'm expecting decorating for Christmas will be pretty interesting (in a bad way). And of course early next year is going to be quite a hectic time, between robotics, a new niece, a new sister-in-law, probably a new project, and all the same old stuff that'll still be going on (church, house, friends, etc).

But anyway, I've got a new subscription of lithium and Seroquel (which so far has failed to put me to sleep), and glasses and trial contacts are on order (which will be the last pair of glasses I ever buy... next year will be time for LASIK). And I won't be able to eat most of tomorrow, thanks to the dentist appointment... Everything does always seem to come all at once, doesn't it?

Yes, I actually woke up early today, early enough to cook breakfast and to sit here and write. But, I better get going, or I'll still be late for work despite waking up...

While I was growing up, there was one thing about my father that I never understood - he was obsessed with the Japanese. There was one book he read over and over again, the mini-series version of which he recorded over and over again, and that book was Shogun by James Clavell. Clearly, an obsession of respect. While I was younger, I didn't understand it because it didn't look particularly interesting. As I got older, I didn't understand it because I eventually understood his father's death at the hands of the Japanese during their occupation of the Phillipines in World War 2. Of us four kids, he told two that he didn't see the execution; he told us younger two that he did, in the town square, at the hand of the Japanese colonel. Yet he always seemed to talk about their systems of honor. But still, I guess I expected a bit more bitterness in his voice.

Yet, over time, I found my own obsession with the Japanese. Of course, it developed in a in a much different way, starting in childhood in ways I would never have guessed. Those ways were, of course, had been presented in my childhood in the form of morning and afternoon cartoons. And decades later those were reformed in a hobby, and later, an obsession with anime. And later with Samurai swords, and the Samurai themselves. And although my obsession has died down recently, sometime in the near future, I'll end up watching Shogun (which I have on DVD), and reading the book (which is on my wishlist).

It's funny sometimes, how, in so many strange ways, we actually do become our parents.

Are people still trying to profit off the terrible tragedy of September 11? The latest thing I've seen is the "Freedom Tower Silver Dollar", made "from 10 mil .999 pure silver recovered from Ground Zero". It's not like it's even pretending to say that it's for recovery costs or charities or homeland security; it is purely being done for profit at a mere $49.99 per dollar. Shame on them. At least they limit the purchase at 5 coins per call (yes, I'm being sarcastic).

Sleep is a bitch. There are never enough hours in the
day, especially when my meds practically force me into
a full 8 hours of sleep each night. And worse, once I
do wake up, I still get to work so sleepy that I need
a couple hours of seminapping before Im functional. I
miss being able to survive on just 4 hours a night. Anyway...

I got a double doorbell ring this evening. I was in the basement and ran upstairs to get it, and there was no one there. I looked down, and all that was there was a brown paper lunch bag, with what looked like two baby carrots in touch of ranch dressing. Just in case, I went back inside, grabbed a plastic grocery bag, wrapped it up and it's sitting outside my garage.

But what's the deal with the carrot?

I guess its about time to admit it: Im gaining all my
lost weight back. Dieting was much easier on 2nd
shift, when I had little choice but to eat in the
cafeteria every day with my bag of tuna. Now that Im
on days with coworkers who want to go out to eat every
day... Well, I think I need to reacclimate, starting
Monday... I hope I can still in back on the South Beach...

Im still keeping track of all the money I spend on my
house. The total is up to $32712. The daily average is
now down to $260 (from $300), mostly because Im too
busy working on the house to go shopping. Maybe I will
be able to afford more furniture come January. Will my
house be ready for it, though? Lots to do in the
kitchen and great room, but I dont spend nearly enough
time at home to do the work... Still havent had my
friends over either, but the place is a sty and there
isnt enough time...

Ever wonder what would happen if I stopped taking
lithium for a few days? I have. And it just so happens
that I dont have enough to last me through my next
psych appointment on Tuesday. Yes, I know I could call
the office and have them call in for a refill, but I
wont.I doubt Ill notice any difference, not in just a
few days. Besides, Ive still got plenty of Seroquel,
so at the very least, Ill be able to sleep.

One thing I notice in my years of mood swings is that
I dont often rethink my opinions. Ideas started in
mania carry thru to depressions, just like cruel
thoughts formed in depressions are held when mania
returns. Example: abortion. At one time, I wasnt
prochoice, I was proabortion. Think along the lines of
forced population control of worthless genetic ends.
But I know now that Im totally prolife. However, until
I actually thought about it, I still considered myself
a prochoice voter, not knowing why.

The teachers at my brother's high school finally got together to discuss the robotics team for this year. It's only about 2 months behind the schedule where I think we should be, but what can you do? I guess I could turn into a controlfreak like the mentor that ran the show last year (against everyone's wishes)... Nah. Too much stress for everyone.

The meeting took place over dinner. We have five repeating teachers, including my brother, who will be dropping out sometime around February (based on child birth) and will be running the show until then. One teacher from last year didn't return, but three new teachers joined. The bossy engineer from last year is gone (ding dong the witch is dead!), and I'm not sure if his underlings, who helped out a lot last year, will be joining us again or not.

The teachers will be adverising and asking around for the next week, and will officially cast the first meeting on November 1 (once again, 2 months later than I'd like). And from there we whip them into shape for a month and a halfe until the January kickoff, which I hope we'll be ready for (we won't).

I was sitting in the bleachers, inside the gymnasium. On the makeshift stage, a troupe of slap stick comedians. Boredom. Lameness.

Each chunk of the stage has two large jewels mounted on it. The stage is mechanized, allowing the chunks to rearrange themselves according to the needs of the skits they act out. Odd curiosity.

Then someone in the crowd ahead stands up, turns toward me, gives me a hug. I've missed her. She asks me if I'm going to the dance. I hadn't planned on it, but now it sounds like a good idea. Good, she'll see me there. Happiness. Satisfaction.

Then the funky stage thing turns into a funhouse, of sorts, the chunks of stage rearranging themselves as the bleachers move in through it. Psychedelic effects. Loss of sense of gravity. Vertigo.

Then it's done. She's gone again, no show at the dance. She's stood me up, again. Disappointment. Not surprised. Disillusionment.

Even in my dreams, this happens. Self-pity.

Yesterday was another Detroit aread blog meetup day. It also happened to be the first time in about a year (since I first signed up) that I could also attend. And so I did.

What's a blog meetup? Bloggers registerted on the Meetup website choose a location and meet once a month, pretty much just for the hell of it. Of course, most people who sign up never do say that they can or can't go.

Yesterday, there were in fact a whole 2 responses. Me=yes, someone else=no. I went anyway. No one else showed, so used the time to read a book.

As fall arrives, the birds are preparing for their annual southbound migration. While driving down the road, you can see the flocks of 100+ small little birds hopping from perch to perch, kind of like a giant amoeba of black dots. It's somehow both beautiful and frightening, and I sit in awe every time they do it. Once in a while their little hops pass close to the cars, like today when several dozen came within a few inches of my windshield, and were so much more beautiful and so much more frightening.

Well, I'm on my first LifeNight! At last I'm a core member entire... Of course I'll be missing my first group planning meeting this Sunday (because of work, of course). But, I'll work through it somehow.

One of my coworkers, who hadn't seen me on 1st shift for a long time, asked me how I managed to wake up this morning. I simply replied I didn't have a problem waking up, I had a problem sleeping. And it's not really that I had a problem sleeping, I just didn't sleep.

It started by going out to dinner with a friend who came in town from Auburn, NY with another friend. Then the three of us went back to his apartment and we watched The Thomas Crown Affair (again).

I left before the end of the movie, but I when I got home I started staining my shelves. And when I finished that, I just watched some TV. Then I went to work, sat around, went to a training seminar (boring!), and returned home at the end of the day. Then I resumed staining, went to Home Depot for more stain, went to my brother's for dinner, and now it's 10:30pm and I'm not tired. The fact that I took my Seroquel both yesterday and today doesn't seem to make much of a difference.

We'll see if that still holds true in the morning. I've got another training seminar tomorrow, which I'm sure will be equally boring, starting at 7am. Hope I'm not late...

Yesterday, I rushed out of work to make it out to a Walgreens so that I can print out all of my pictures from last week's LifeNight. I felt like I had to get them done as quickly as possible, because I needed everyone to see my camerawork. Why?

One reason was because I felt threatened. Another guy there last week said something to the effect "If anyone needs pictures taken, let me know a week ahead so that I can bring my camera." to which I responded "Don't worry, I've got my camera." His response was to repeat himself. It's not like he has the only camera or anything.

Another reason was I felt I had to prove my worth. Was I bringing anything to the table? Well, this week I brought pictures. As long as the LifeNights are photogenic and I have the opportunity to snap away, I'll be taking pictures.

But am I doing it just to hide behind the camera again? I would be lying if I didn't admit it was partly true.

The youth group meeting was interesting today... Just a Q&A session with one of our priests.

Starting out, many of the questions were generic: why did you become a priest, what would you be doing if you weren't a priest, were you ever in love, had you ever thought about getting married, etc.

Then someone asked the question that I, for years, have always wanted to ask a priest, but completely didn't think about it now that I had my chance. The question was "Have you ever been in an exorcism?"

Surprisingly, the answer was "Yes, once."

So the next 30 minutes or so turned in to a everything-you-always-wanted-to-know-about-demonic-possession-but-never-got-to-ask thing. It was the first time that I ever heard a priest admit that ouiji boards, tarot cards, crystals, and other occult paraphenalia actually could manifest power (though evil). It was the first time that I ever heard a priest admit to actually witnessing people floating or objects flying. He did try to explain that there were levels of demonic influence, varying from demonic obsessions to possessions. I knew that each diocese was required to keep at least one exorcists, but I never knew that ours had three.

Then we finally decided to move on. There was a question about papal infalibility, which brought out something I didn't know before, that there was a particular form that the pope must use to enforce that infalibility, and that it hasn't been used since 1959(?). So I blurted out "Does that mean the encyclicals aren't backed by infalibility?" He pointed out that encyclicals are supposed to be treated somewhere between instructions and doctrine (or something like that, which I thought dodged the question quite well). Then he had to explain to everyone else what an encyclical was (yeah, I pulled a big word out of the dictionary). He explained that an encyclical is basically a thesis paper written by the pope, which is a much better what I would have come up with.

I did put in a question, "Do you think there will ever be woman priests?" I left it in opinion form because I didn't want him to think that he had to agree with the current church direction, but he answered "No, never." nonetheless, and then saying that there was a lengthy explanation why, but he wouldn't be able to get into it right then.

It's 2pm, and all is... Well, boring as shit. I still can't believe I get paid for this... But the eye-gouging boredom will be over in just an hour, and then I will move on to a world of self-doubts that most people call church. God, that makes my life sound so pathetic... Just gotta remember to smile.... Remember,I'm happy with my life. Yeah, right. Well, I am, kinda, but only kinda. A part of me wants to just be a miserable little shit,too, the kind who refuses to get out of bed and face life...

Went over to my friend's place, and finally got to test out the Silent Scope gun and game that I bought him (using his own credit card, of course). I did pretty well on some missions (though I was pissed that I missed some head shots) and did quite poorly on others. But now my urge to buy an XboX are stonger than ever.

Of course I could choose the other option, which is to buy the actual arcade game. A mere $6000 compared to the $350 or so I'd spend on the XboX...

Moving, that is. The last of my stuff is now in my house. Which is to say, my house is a disorganized mess. What can you expect?

Yes, as if I hadn't moved almost everything already, tomorrow is my official "moving day" (which differs from "moving week" in that I am renting a U-Haul and employing my family to help, instead of carting stuff back and forth in the trunk of my car).

Well, really all that I have left at mom's is 2 bookshelves, a filing cabinet, a wine rack, and a few boxes full of magazines and other junk. I might not even be worth renting the U-Haul, but otherwise I'd end up having to borrow someone's big SUV (evil things...) and make a few trips.

Anyway, that's tomorrow, so I should sleep.

Day shift is so totally different from afternoons. How, you ask? Just in that I'm bored to death during the day, as opposed to being bored to death in the afternoon. Okay, so my sarcasm is dry, but I'm dead tired and have nothing to distract me. This day is killing me...

Heh, and I thought permanent markers were the way to get high...

Just put a bit of red oak stain on top of one of the natural pine shelves. I meant to put it on the underside, figuring that if I botched it, it would go unnoticed, but I screwed up on something as simple as determining which side is up and which is down. Oh well, I've got 29 more shelves to work with, anyway.

For that matter, I'm still not exactly sure how I want to lay out my entertainment center yet. I think I'll have to cut down a couple of the verticals in order to make a TV stand, or else I would have to completely surround the TV with wood, which might work also. And I bought 3 bottom drawers (really nothing more than a box on casters), but I don't think I have room for 3 cabinets side-by-side. I'm not sure what I was thinking...

Also I have to call Ikea and tell them they shipped me a broken vertical. This will all probably be easier to deal with when they finally build a store in the Detroit area...

I bought shelving from Ikea with which I will build my entertainment center. I placed this order on September 13. It's about $400 of actual material, but $200-300 to ship it. I can't remember the details any more. They finally shipped it from Chicago to Detroit this morning, taking a whole 30 day month to process. The shipping company, Don't Blame the Messanger, called me Monday and asked me to choose a day, Wednesday (today) or Friday, and that they'd call me Tuesday with a 3 hour window. The 3 hour window which they told me was 3-6pm today. I had to leave work early to be there, of course.

So, 2:30pm and I'm ready. I have the garage cleaned out, tarp laid out knowing I'd have to stain the shelves my self. 3pm, nothing; not surprising. 4pm, nothing. 5pm, nothing; I'm checking my watch. 6pm, nothing; I'm on the phone. They tell me, they just talked with the driver and they are on the last drop before mine, down in Roseville, maybe about 10 miles from here. 30 minutes, 45 minutes tops. 7pm, nothing. 7:30pm and I'm on the phone again. Leaving a message for the delivery department, calling again to get a hold of a mangager. While on hold, the driver calls me and tells me he is JUST NOW heading to the place in Roseville. Hour, hour and a half, maybe worse. I call back to leave a message on the manager's (actually a VP's) voice mail.

So they end up rolling in at 9pm... Unloading is fast and simple. Everything is light so I help unload too. The driver is okay, his assistant seems capable of no more than the menial loading/unloading. One problem is they use crappy software for maps and directions. Another problem is the assistant lost 2 manifolds this morning. Another problem is they probably overloaded their schedule.

But now I'm probably going to be getting a phone call tomorrow from a VP of this company. And I have to bitch him out, because for a delivery that costs more than 80% of my actual order, I have to expect better than decent service. I was planning about reminding about how delivery service is really all about customer service, and how I should be complaining to Ikea about what a shitty service they provide. But I can't do that last part. You see, they already lost Ikea's contract, effective end of buisness day Friday.

Well, I'll bitch however I can. Of course, I always end up wimping out when I actually get them on the phone... Oh well...

Two days later, and it seems that church is still bothering me.

I just feel like I'm an outsider atound them. I have very little connection to the adults. Basically there are two groups of adults, a young crowd and an old crowd, and I'm too old to be young and too young to be old. And most of the teens that I knew just graduated this past May.

I guess part of it comes from the fact that I was on 2nd shift. Because of that, I think the youth minister never really had much faith in my commitment, so no one calls upon me or relies on me. Plus, before last week, I never showed up for the pre-meetings. I'm sure that didn't help either.

As for getting to know the teens, that'll come with time. Part of the problem is that I haven't been able to turn on my "outgoing" switch, and so I really haven't used the time to really get to know any of them. It's just that, sometimes I feel like some sort of creep who just lingers around... As a matter of fact, I think that there's at least one teen who thinks the same thing.

Maybe it'll get better. I'm going to stick with it, at least until it becomes unbearable.

I did mention that I got a phone landline installed, didn't I? I didn't really want one, but I eventually decided I need one, pretty much for sending/receiving faxs and configuring my Tivo. And having a phone line, I needed a phone, so of course I have a cordless phone system with an answering machine (top of the line, of course).

Of course, I have no plans whatsoever to use it as a phone, and any phone calls that I get? Well, I'm going to make the assumption, outright, that it is nothing but a junk phone call. And want to hear the announcement on my answering machine? Too bad I can't find get my microphone port to work... Anyway, it's a simple message:
"This is a test. This is ONLY a test. *BEEP*"

It seems to be working. I've gotten 2 phone calls this evening that the caller couldn't figure out what was going on, and hence, didn't leave a message.

Although, I wonder if my neighbors tried to call me by getting my number from information... one of them just came by to tell me my sprinklers are broken... hmm.

Day shift is so totally different from afternoons. How, you ask? Just in that I'm bored to death during the day, as opposed to being bored to death in the afternoon. Okay, so my sarcasm is dry, but I'm dead tired and have nothing to distract me. This day is killing me...

Another Sunday spent at church... doubts come back.

Setting up was fun. We spent a few hours building a huge web of yarn in the parking lot. That I could deal with. But other than that...

I feel completely disconnected. Among the core adult group, it's like I'm too old to be part of the younger crowd (who hang out together), yet I'm too young to be in the older crowd (who talk about their kids a lot). Like last week, the younger crowd decided to go watch a movie, and hadn't thought to ask me. I would have turned it down, but that's hardly the point.

Then there are the teens too. And I have connections to so few of them, and I don't know how to even talk to them. I'm not really outgoing enough to just walk up to a group of them and join convesations.

So why am I there?

Sometimes I think I'm there for the wrong reasons, as I'm sure I've said before. But I'm too tired to talk about this any more, right now. Perhaps another time.

Today, I was the official score keeper for Ford's Sweet Repeat invitational tournament. So it was just a small (21 team), short (1 day) copy of last years competition. As score keeper, I had two simple duties: starting the match computer and recording the score at the end. I watched the guy during the entire competition at Nationals, so I thought I could handle it pretty well.

But no... Problems arose. Why? Because Linux hates me.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't actually Linux hating me, but it could very well be that TacOps (their software) hated me. But something did, but only every 8th match (give or take).

Well, let me explain... The scoring part of the job could be a little complicated, but occupies so little time that it can get boring. And starting the match is as simple as pressing the button plainly labeled "Start". Takes no time whatsoever, and as simple as can be, right? *sigh* Not when the button doesn't click.

Yeah, a button. A simple stupid button. I chose using the mouse over the touch screen because my index finger wasn't at it's stablest... Thank lithium for that. So all I have to do is place the mouse cursor on top of it, and hit the left mouse button. Simple. The MC counts down "3... 2... 1... Go!" and I hit the button when it gets to go. Not when the button doesn't click.

Now what it is about the button that didn't click is unfathomable to me. A button is made to click and that's all it does. This one hates me. It doesn't click. It makes me look like I'm completely incompetent... I tried to click it. Really! It just wouldn't click.

The saving grace, I guess, was that the button didn't actualy activate until you release the button. So, while they were counting down, I could click and hold, or reclick and hold, until they said go, and then I finally let go. Worked like a charm, but I really didn't figure that out until right before finals started.

Stupid button.

I have been to the Dark Tower and have seen what there is to see. I can't say I'm entirely plesased with the ending (even King says this in his end note), but even to me, it seems like it was the correct ending (which again, King says). But at least, for now, I'm satisfied that I've reached the end, of the series, mayhap the end of his writing career. I think he has talked about retiring... It would almost make sense if this was his last opus.

There were some parts of his other books that I was actually hoping he'd pull in, characters who I thought deserved a little more time in the spotlight (notably Jack Sawyer, after his hasty change of circumstances in Black House). But speaking of King's other books, I will, I'm sure, go back and read some of his those auxiliary books (those related to the story, but not directly part of it). But first, I must give Stephen King a rest and let that part of my mind forget.

Or stupid me for forgetting it. Luckily it was a quick drive to get home. And since I was home, I'm just eating leftovers while surfing the web for more ways to divide my time.

The next thing, which I need to remind myself to sign up for, is volunteering at this year's FIRST regional events. But their volunteer website is down, so I have to wait until November to sign up. I'm hoping to make it as a ref or maybe as official scorekeeper, but I'll probably get stuck with field setup... Oh well.

10 hours until work, which means 8 hours until I need to wake up, which would be great if I were home. Naturally, I'm not. Just got out of the LifeNight... Now to drive home...

10 hours until work, which means 8 hours until I need to wake up, which would be great if I were home. Naturally, I'm not. Just got out of the LifeNight... Now to drive home...

Mouldings, I mean. I finally found a place where I could buy the, until now, elusive remaining pieces of mouldings for my chair rail, door frames, and wall frames I need for my kitchen. That means, I now have all the resources I need to get my kitchen ready to paint. And that means I have no more excuses but to get my ass in gear and start ACTUALLY working on my house, instead of just buying more and more stuff to get ready for the next project.

No excuses except pure lazyness, of course, and what a mighty fine excuse that makes.

Mouldings, I mean. I finally found a place where I could buy the, until now, elusive remaining pieces of mouldings for my chair rail, door frames, and wall frames I need for my kitchen. That means, I now have all the resources I need to get my kitchen ready to paint. And that means I have no more excuses but to get my ass in gear and start ACTUALLY working on my house, instead of just buying more and more stuff to get ready for the next project.

No excuses except pure lazyness, of course, and what a mighty fine excuse that makes.

I'm on first, no one's on second, and no one's on third...

Yes, so I woke up at 6am this morning! I woke up in the dark and went home in the light! Of course, that'll all change pretty soon with the daylight savings change, but it's nice anyway. I got home and tried to do stuff around the house, and I could actually work outside for a change.

So I should go to sleep... have to wake up tomorrow too.

The drive up to Traverse City was the most fun I've had in a while...

I let my sister drive on the way up, while I rode as the front passenger. I decided to pull out the new camera, along with the big glass... Now you have to picture this new lens... when it's at the full 300mm zoom focal length, plus the length of the hood, it's about 11 inches long. So now picture an unmarked Sebring with a passenger pointing a foot-long black something at them... The cars around us were freaking out... speeding up, slowing down suddenly, driving at a crawl... My sister was getting mad at me because I was slowing down traffic.

Meanwhile I actually took pictures, testing out the camera. Most of the pictures were of the trees, which were starting to turn their autumn colors. But some were just random cars, which I used to take my chances with manually focusing. I never could get license plates in focus... well, actually now that I look at them on the computer, they did come out in focus. Then when we got up there, I finally a bunch of pictures of the bay. There was one seemingly wierd picture of two guys in suits tying up their boat to the dock... yeah, suits and ties and loafers and all of that, on a boat. Wierd.

So maybe most of the pictures didn't really amount to much. Many are blurry or look inconsequential, but just taking time to take random pictures was worth it.

Well, I'm not so sure about feeling great... but at least I'm alive and awake. Today is my first day of first shift... I didn't wake up with enough time to cook myself breakfast, which I'll probably regret by lunch time. Oh well... better start going.

So I decided to pass up the 2 hours of overtime and the $104 dollars that go with them. In other words, NO MORE SECOND SHIFT! NO MORE HAVING TO STAY UP UNTIL 3AM! NO MORE FORCED ANTISOCIAL BEHAVIOR! WOOHOO!!!

Just 9 more hours of 2nd shift, and I'm unbelievably jittery. It's amazing how, on some days, 6 cups of coffee don't affect me at all, but some days, like today, just one cup will amplify the lithium's hand tremor all the way throughout my body... It almost feels like I overdosed on caffeine. So no more for me today...