The Bipolar Otaku

Gross income: $149,363.31
Take home: $86,509.72
Bills paid: $30,000 (est)
Pretax investments: $13,000 (est)
Posttax investments: $4,600 (est)
Work related spending: $4,000 (est)
House related spending: $54,000 (est)
Spending for others: $3,500 (est)
Other spending (presumably discretionary spending on myself): $28,000 (est)
Outflow: $105,000 (est)
Net gain: -$20,000 (est)

Most expensive purchases:
- My house $262,500
- Leather couches & ottomans $4,900
- washer & dryer $3,000
Favorite purchases:
- My house $262,500
- Digital Rebel $900
- Cotton bathrobe $100
Most worthless purchases:
- stocking the wine rack & liquor cabinet $2,500 (est)
- Excess Christmas lights $300 (est
- Roomba vacuum $250 (est

Favorite gift given:
- Camcorder & accessories $430
Favorite gift received:
- katana $100 (guess)

Best vacation:
- Road trip to the FIRST Robotics Nationals down in Atlanta - "Welcome to Atlanta, baby! This is the ATL!"
Favorite movie of 2004:
- Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Favorite song of 2004:
- Vindicated by Dashboard Confessiona
Favorite book of 2004:
- Songs of Susannah by Stephen King
Memorable quote in 2004:
- "Go Blue! ... JT! You're supposed to yell Go Gold!" - Amy, October 30

Best things I've done for me:
- decided what I want to believe in
- joined the church youth group as an adult
- did the Atkins/South Beach Diet
- taken a basic photography class
Worst things I've done for me:
- stopped hoping
- became lazy and apathetic at work
Best thing I've done for others:
- listened when they wanted to talk
Worst thing I've done for others:
- not being around because of work
New addictions/habits/hobbies:
- Television
- Frequent all nighters
- Praying
- Attempting to play the guitar
Addictions/habits/hobbies stopped:
- none

Worst mania:
- driving myself to stay up every other night so I could work on the house and prepare for the party
Worst depression:
- bawling my eyes out while praying in church, wondering why I feel unworthy, and spending the next 10 hours at work, terrified it might happen again; definite mean red

Things I wish had happened differently:
- that a certain someone had come to fast-a-thon like she promised
- that I had returned to day shift earlier
- that Lauren would still IM me
- that Verizon had an unlimited TXT messaging plan
Things I wish I had done differently:
- that I stayed for breakfast the day after Halloween and asked Amy out that day
- that I knew what I spent all my money on
- that I stayed on a diet

Every day this week has felt like a Thursday, like
tomorrow should be the end. But now its Thursday, and
so what? Tomorrows Friday and Im still not sure what
Im doing for New Years.

Thats the root of it. I dont get out enough. The gang
from church were going to all go skating, but Im
guessing they didnt call me because they thought Id be
working. One of my friends invited me to dinner the
other night but I couldnt leave the house since I was
doped up on Seroquel. I havent been out in ages. Need
to do something besides work and sleep...

I couldnt even talk to the doctor. When I went in, I
thought I was doing ok, that things have been stable
and uneventful, but after I left it felt obvious that
I was depressed. The last thing we talked about was
that I need to find a new doctor because the new
insurrance didnt cover her office, so if I get a
coverage list, shed try to refer me to someone she
knows is good. Thats all well and good, but after I
left, everything else hit... Too much stuff to type
here,though. Stuff sucks.

Over the past few days, Ive been using my iPaq to
write my last blog entry for the year and my first
entry for next year, both of which are becoming fairly
long. Im not done, but unfortunately I left it at home
today, so Im losing valuable time as we speak. Anyway,
Ive got another psych appointment today. Maybe if its
short, Ill swing home really quick before going back
to work.

A lot of my friends love this movie. They talk about it all the time, quote it again and again. Well, it finally came out on DVD, so I rented it. It's the classic story of a misfit high school student who mets a girl and helps a friend win class president. Worth a couple of chuckles, but most of the time I just felt like turning it off. As for my friends, they'll hate me for hating it; life goes on.

My family (immediate family, brothers and sister and sisters-in-law and mom) openned our Christmas presents today... er, yesterday. The way we have been doing it in our family for the past few years is that all of us kids draw a name, and we give that person a "big" gift. We can (but don't have to) give everyone else "small" gifts. We also say that we can ask other people to group their "little" gifts together with your gift to make get something bigger. Each year we define the monetary limits of our big and little gifts, in order to equalize the gifts and make sure no one feels stiffed, that they gave more than they got. This year, "big" was $100 and "small" was $25, a little confining compared to previous years, but with a wedding due in May and a baby due in February, the two couples couldn't afford as much. So be it...

Anyway, I drew Joanna, my future sister-in-law. What she really really wanted was a camcorder, and several months ago she and my brother asked me for a recommendation. I told them about the Consumer Reports "Best Buy" recommendation, a Sony Digital8 camcorder, that only cost about $300. Ahead of time I implied that I would only be giving her a gift certificate for $100 and I'd be giving my brother a $50 gift certificate that I owed him for his birthday in November and that they'd be on their own for the rest. But giving gift certificates is boring. Giving what someone really wants - now that's rewarding.

So, I bought a video tape, wrapped the empty case, layered it with a couple extra layers of tape (I still have a tape gun from moving last July) and gave it to her. I wrapped the camcorder in my scarf and recorded as she struggled with it. Then, when she finally found an empty case, I told her to take a look at the gift behind the couch. She dug into it, yanked the camcorder box open, throwing manuals and cables here and there, not once looking over at me to see that I had unwrapped the camcorder and was filming the entire thing.

Okay, so it was beyond the limits. I prefer to think of them more as guidelines than anything else. Besides, it's also an early wedding present. Oh, but wait it's bad luck to use a wedding present before the wedding (my brohter is very insistent upon that fact), so I told them to consider it an early St. Patrick's Day present. St. Paddy's? It's a subtle reference to St. Patrick's Day in 2003, when I told my brother (who had just started going out with her) that I would be my biggest honor to be his best man (yes, I was drunk as a skunk). They weren't engaged, I think, until another 8 months later.

And what did I get? I got a new backpack for my laptop, a hardcover of Breakfast at Tiffany's by Truman Capote, DVD of Lost in Translation, DVD of The Princess Bride, hardcover of Wizard and Glass by Stephen King, a bunch of picture frames, a power planer, a bar set, and $50. All of which (except for the cash) I had asked for. But this was one of those years that giving was more fun than receiving. It usually isn't... I'm just one of those people who is too eager to buy everything he wants, so it's hard for anyone else to buy me something that I really really want.

I joined a webring! Well, Tiffany, the founder invited me about a month ago, but I kept forgetting to accept until yesterday. So, welcome to the Dualist Ring for Bipolar Persons.

Have you ever felt compeled to do what other people aren't doing? Please bear with me, but I'm going to completely over-analyze things here... but it was more or less what I was thinking while driving home, until I got to clean roads.

Okay, so here's the situation. I'm driving on I-71, a divided highway in Ohio, 2 lanes each direction, with big shoulder space on both sides, but I'm certain all of this would be the same on any poorly plowed road. Snow or no snow, thwere are two lanes so people should be able to use both lanes. In normal conditions, I would guess 65% of the traffic stays in the right lane. However, in snowy conditions, it's more like 95%, and the snow paths in the right lane are well worn. Judging by the slippage while driving, the right lane should be able to travel at about 50-55 mph safely, but people are frightened little drivers with the slightest hint of snow and therefore only travel 30mph. So that's where the left lane, the passing lane, comes in. Like I said, maybe about 5% of the traffic use it, so the snow paths aren't very clean, which discourages anyone from using it, ex
cept the 5% of us crazy drivers. The lane is mushy, suitable for about 40-45 mph traffic at most.

This is where the compulsion comes in. I actually feel compelled to be among those 5%. After all, there's two lanes to be used, so two lanes should be available for use. The lane will only be used if the lanes are used, so someone should use it. Now, if the slow traffic would all move into the mushy lane, they can move slow and steadily into the mush while us faster drivers can move faster in the clear lane, but NOOO... they force us to push as fast as possible the mush while they move slowly in the easy lane.... So, someone has to work on clearing up the mush... Most of the people on the road don't think about all this stuff, so should I, as a responsible driver, do something about it?

So I do. Not the safest thing to do. But I do it. It's nothing new, I've done it for years, whether driving a top-heavy minivan or a puny little Honda Civic. I have to.

So what do you think? A long-standing series of hypomanic episodes? Poor logic? Simple impatience? Poor logic fed by simple impatience? Wasted thoughts?

Oh, the wonders of snow. It's simply marvelous, isn't it? I left the plant early because numerous people kept warning me about the snowfall getting worse and the blizzards in Sandusky. But besides some problems with Ohio interstates (I'll get into it later), once I got on the turnpikes it was clear sailing, as long as I didn't try to get off at one of the rest areas. Michigan interstates on the other hand were fairly well plowed as long as you changed lanes to not hit the plows.

Then I got to my marvelously snow-covered driveway. For fun, I tried driving up the driveway 2 or 3 times, only to end up slipping back down. So out came the shovel... and shovelling away I did go. And right when I was done shoveling the driveway, the kid how does my lawns drove by with his snowblower, and helped out and did my sidewalks for me. I need to get a snowblower...

So I'm as far as snow goes, I'm done with it for the moment. However, the retention pond next door is starting to look like more and more fun... All the neighborhood kids go sledding in there. Perhaps I should go buy a sled, just to keep on hand.

I just realized just how much Im working in the next 2
weeks. During the 14 days between 12/20/04 and 1/2/05,
Im scheduled for 11 12-hour days. Those 132 hours (out
of 336 total hours) represent 5 extra converted
vacation days and $8076.64 of pretax income, every
posttax penny of which will go toward paying down my
$24,000 or so credit card debt. Meanwhile my friends
will be going out, watching movies, and having fun.
Have you ever had the feeling like you were doing
something wrong with your life?

There are a few things I really missed about
Twinsburg. Things like potato pancake reubens from
Zacks, where they cook the corned beef to perfection
and serve it on crunchy and flavorful potato pancakes.
But most of all I miss Handels ice cream and milk
shakes. Thus, Im indulging in both right now for
lunch. I can feel my belly expanding with each bite....

I brought my GameCube so that I could start getting serious about Wind Waker, but the TV has no in-jack. If I had brought my VCR, there would be a way to get around it, but I didn't think I would need to.

I'm not in the mood to watch movies or anime, so it's between books and PC games. I'm loading Beyond Good and Evil, which I heard is great Zelda-like game, and I'm about to start Angels & Demons by Dan Brown. Of course I'll probably pass out pretty soon; the Seroquel feels like it's kicking in. I took the pills early since I figured I wasn't really planning on going out tonight anyway.

So here I am, back in my favorite town near Cleveland... At least it's just for 4 days. But it happens to be a very inconvenient 4 days, as everyone I know in Cleveland is already back home in Michigan for the holidays.

I went to dinner at the Damon's right in front of my hotel. Of course, with dinner I played NTN trivia. Surprisingly, I broke my long lasting streak of 2nd place scores with a hugely disappointing 6th place loss. Oh well...

Her name is Holly Golightly. Okay, so she's just a movie character, but she's played by Audrey Hepburn, what can I say?

Well, in reality, I'm certain she'd drive me crazy in the first 15 days, or maybe the first 15 seconds. Her spontaneity is refreshing but I'd be hard pressed to keep up if I were his shoes. However, you have to respect a girl who refuses to name her cat. Plus, she knows what the mean reds are. I never knew they were called mean reds, but I know what they are. "The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of." And how do you cure those? Tiffany's, of course... well, for her in any case.

Besides, I still wonder if I love Audrey Hepburn because of Natalie Portman, or if it's the other way around (reference to those who call Natalie the modern day Audrey). But as I start to watch more and more of her movies, I definitely have to say I love Audrey.

As such, Truman Capote's book is now on my wishlist.

Thank god it's over... I really don't like shopping for other people. Actually I wasn't even Christmas shopping, but birthday shopping. Unfortunately, with a birthday on the 24, it means that birthday shopping for my sister-in-law has to happen in Christmas season. Fortunately, the customers weren't as rude as normal, and the cahsiers were actually cheerful, not their snippy whiny holiday selves.

But it's over, and that's what matters. And my wine rack is restocked, too, though I can't drink any of it *sob*.

I just started watching Blue Sub 6. People have been recommmending it to me for years, and I've even downloadeded it at least 2 different times, but now that I've got Netflix, I'm actually forcing myself to watch it.

The setting is somewhat unclear. A human city was recently sunken by an aquatic race created by someone named Zondyke, and Blue 6 seems to be the flagship fighting the war against them. A young pilot named Kino is ordered to retrieve a former crew member, Tetsu, who could hopefully be able to defeat these enemies.

Seems pretty good, but unfortunately, it's a 4 episode OAV that they put on 4 seperate discs. Kind of a waste, considering they are only 30 minute episodes, and so I'll have to wait for the other discs to finish it.

So, I'm finally done with my night shift, and what do I do? Fall asleep for 12 hours straight and find myself awake at 2am, likely to stay up all night and too exhausted to do anything tomorrow... ARGGH!!!

I went to see my psychiatrist, told her everything I could, about Halloween, the girl, the disappointment, the party, the retreat, all the all-nighters, the missed Seroquel doses, the breakdown on Sunday, the word "unworthy", the 10 pounds I put on within 2 days of the party... She told me that I took a number of good steps: finding out that I was attracted to someone, having the guts to ask her out, dealing with the disappointment appropriately, yatta yatta yatta... all good, except the all-nighters, of course. Those weren't good, not at all. But at least I recognized that, and hopefully I'll be taking the appropriate measures to make sure I sleep regularly again.

So, I've got another appointment between Christmas and New Years. Two weeks, instead of the 6-8 week interval that we had been using is now necessary, because of my unsteady mood. So today is the last all-nighter (I promise!). Being out of town for a week, next week, will help. After all, what else is there to do when I'm out of town than work, eat, and sleep.

And here's the kicker: no drinking over the holiday season! I have two bottles of wine that I'm bringing to the Christmas party tonight, and I'm not even going to get a chance to taste them... *sob*... Well, alcohol is a depressant, and I guess it can be a pretty subtle one at that. So subtle that the 3 beers I had Saturday just might have made me the sad wreck that I was Sunday night, though I didn't even have so much as a hangover.

Anyway, I've got an hour to kill until robotics starts, so I'm over at mom's place right now. Wish I could take a quick nap, but I don't think that's going to be possible; might just find myself in a 12 hour coma like I did on Tuesday. Oh, maybe I should go home and get my camera... Yeah, I'll do that.

Tonight is my Thursday and I turned down the weekend,
so I only have to deal with 3rd shift for 2 more
nights. And there was much rejoicing! However, next
week I have to go down to Twinsburg... Thatll be the
first time Ive travelled for work since moving into my
house, but Im sure itll be alright. I just wish I
slept more last night...

When I got out of work this morning, I went to CVS to print a couple hundred digital pictures and went home and started a movie. I think I went to sleep around 10am. I woke up around 10pm. 12 hours, and I still feel tired...

Ive watched the first 3 discs of the Stand Alone
Complex, now. I have to say, though I didnt really
care much for the original movie, the series is pretty
good... Good enough that I decided to start buying it.
Lots of action, interesting animation effects, subtle
implications of an underlying conspiracy, and it
messes with your brain just a bit... Just the kind of
show Im in the mood for.

Well, at least the movie is. I've spent the afternoon lying around on the couch wearing my cotton bathrobe watching movies and anime. Remarkably, I've actually never watched this movie before, though I've been meaning to watch it for forever. I'll probably like it. I hope I will, considering I already bought it on DVD.

I slept through robotics... oh well, 3pm is a really bad time for someone on 3rd shift. Thursday will be the important one, considering the task I sent them on will be due then.

My head seems a lot better now. Hope it stays that way. I just called to confirm that I've got a psych appointment on Thursday at noon. I should be okay for the next few days. Should.

And Thursday is also the Christmas party for our youth group adult staff. Looks like a busy day. It's a pot luck and I was going to bake another cheesecake, but I'm too lazy. Besides I have an extra apple pie that I had bought for my party; it should still be good.

So Thursday will be a busy day. It'll also be the start of my last day on 3rd shift (can you say Hallelujah?).

I was just thinking back... When did I start getting depressed again? I felt the nudge at around 12am, when everyone left, while cleaning, realizing that I had too much food leftover, that too many of my friends didnt come... And so, playing Ocarina of Time for another 3 hours sounded like a good idea, up until I found out Zelda doesnt give the Ocarina until much later in the game and all I really wanted was to play the warping songs. So I went to sleep even more bummed out. And then I went to church...

Well, for once, one of my counterparts stuck around
long enough to give me a lineup, so for once I know
what needs to be done. Plus he left me with a cart, so
I can drive around instead of walking. However, none
of this changes the fact that I dont want to be here.
Friday at 8am, thats all that I want right now. No,
thats a lie - I want sanity too. Depression, be gone!

Today, I feel jittery, weighed down, burdened,
unworthy. Its completely irrational, I know, and even
the emotions have no basis that I can think of. We
were praying and singing at church when I broke down
crying, couldnt sing, couldnt breathe. Theres no
cause, but Ive swung, and swung low. And to make
things worse, Im at work on night shift, though Id
much rather be anywhere else. Only 5 more nights. I
think I have a psych appointment one day this week,
and I could really really really use it.

Well, much like I expected, I prepared way too much food for my party. Considering it is Christmas time, it wasn't a bad turn out, I guess, but I many of the people I had really hoped would make it, didn't. Oh well, what can you do?

Monday, November 20, 2000---

The stories of the distant past relive themselves and ring true once again. "How many ages hence shall this our lofty scene be told over?" "And how it ever has been, now, and for ever shall be." Paper to ashes, bits to empty sectors, yet I find myself once again, with pen in hand, ready to overcome my mental anguishes, ready to destroy my mental blocks, ready to fix my chicken scratch, and most of all, ready to squash my emotional fears and regain my proper station in life.

So I tell myself that I am ready to face the world again. So I tell myself that I will remember how to right [sic] in cursive. So I tell myself that I can tell the difference and appropriate usage of right and write. So I tell myself that my life is not hopeless. So I tell myself that the journalling experience will give me renewed spirits. So I tell myself that my dreams of romance are not fanciful wisps of neural electrons caused by the selfless, selfish nature of my self-degrading, self-praising, manicly depressed sack of gray matter that I often refer to as my brain, the storage keeper of that ever elusive soul and other dead relics. Oh how I have killed me, let me count the ways. Alas, poor Maui, I knew thee only all too well.

----
11:59PM-

So I am to begin this again. Pen forgive me, for I have sind. This is my first journal entry in over five years. So much has changed. So little, though. I still find myself putting unconditional faith and die-hard devotion to women I barely know, to women who barely know me. But their smiles, their kindness. How much easier my life would be to understand if the smiles went to scowls and their niceties to grunts. How much more bitter I could be to these women who don't care for me. How much less hindered I would feel if I could take away my worries without a concern of possibly adding undue strain upon them. Why do I lie here in this bed, in this apartment, just three and one half miles from her. From her, from her, from that lovely young lady, from that beautiful and mysterious Fraulein who so often occupies my thoughts, haunts my dreams, and rescues me from my nightmares, from Ingrid, from her, from she that doesn't know, no, doesn't know how, how now how I feel about her, about her, for her. It is pathetic, I know. It is so like me, I know. And it helps not to lie here, alone in a waterbed, eight feet below muffled femanine moans and screams, three and one half miles from her. Oh, to talk to her again, to hold her again. But I missed my chance. I look back and see with perfect clarity the single most decisive, most damaging, most... worst moment of indecision in my short life. Four simple words, followed by a dotted hunchback. Four easy to say words that might have changed my outcome from the the last three years. "Can I call you?" Would it have been that hard? Would it have killed me? Alas, I instead wind up here, with the consolation prize. So I lay here in regrets. Alone. What would have happened if I had beat J____ to her?

- TEH,Jr.

-----
Tuesday, November 21, 2000

9:17PM What thought transpire in the minds of broken men? What drives me to find my own distractions? Is it possible that my mind is not as unbalanced as I make it out to be? Perhaps instability is the norm? Could it be that my entire life was the direct result of a fellow Hill Elementary School Student who felt neglected as a result of his parents' divorce? Is the vicious circle in my though stream just a reflection of those in society? "As above, so below."

I want to call her. I really do. No, I guess that's not true. I want to tell her. That is true. I want to tell her, I want to make her care. Correction: I want her to care. I can't make her do anything. This might be why I feel so powerless in my life. I'm emotionally frustrated. I want to call her, but I'm too scared of the results. The pssimist in me tells me that I'll never talk to her again. The optomist in me says that there's a possibility, though not a good one. Not a really good motivator. I read my cards the other day. Many swords. Ten of swords as a significator, nine of swords as my situation, two of swords as my past, three of swords as my crown. The whole reading seemed to say that, having just graduated, I started by making a choice. I am presently faced with the dread and restlessness and I may soon face heartache; however, the cards also provided that my intuition would take a large part in assuring that my true dreams get answered, and that my dreams were on my side. On an entirely separate note, I ran out of ink in my other pen.


I thought I burned all my journals. I guess this must have slipped by, maybe because I forgot I had this one, maybe because I also used this particular one to record ideas that I had for the greatest video game ever, which I was going to write while I struggled with my painful sales job that I had back in 2000. But I was cleaning up the rest of my boxes, and out it came. I don't even remember what I wrote, but I felt that if I was going to bother to read it, I should also type it into my blog. So here it is, the me of 4 years ago. So much has changed, but much of it has stayed the same. I'm glad I'm over her... I am over her, right?

Most of this journal (all 14 pages of it) actually talks about a couple of fantasy novel and game ideas, plus a tarot card reading I did on November 25. After that, it completely turned over into story ideas. Something about a universe of Earths, each one of a different extreme. And one day, experiments on two worlds, one of extreme science and one of extreme magic, pull the two worlds into a collision. I probably would have ended up with characters of the science world trying to adapt to the magic world, instead of the other way around. Mostly worthless ideas, I think.

Anyway, thought it was kind of interesting...

I went into the class with my homework in hand, not quite pleased with my results. The 6 shots I took of the lines on the Chrysler Crossfire Roadster were not up to my expectations, and I had to do a bit of doctoring with the brightness, contrast, and even with the color balance to get them to look a bit more natural. So naturally, the first question from the teacher was "The color in these pictures..." at which I vented my frustrations about the creamy yellow that they painted this particular convertable, and the horrid lighting inside the dealership. He told me how to pick a white balance in Photoshop (how I wish I owned that program...) and told me I at least had the concept of leading lines under control. In other words, I passed.

Anyway, I told him later that I was going to be missing the last class. I want to go the our church youth group adult Christmas party next Thursday, but it will be unfortunate to miss the last class with that group of students... Anyway, I explained, I plan to go to the make-up class in January or February. Then I told him that I plan on moving on into the Intermediate class, too. At this, he told me "Yes, good. At your level, you were bored with these assignments, and you will find the assignments in the next class much more challenging." What? I was bored? Every time I had an assignment to turn in, I ended up disappointed with my results, but I didn't find them challenging? So, I have to take his statement as a complement. Maybe I'm not as mediocre as I always thought... Anyway, I think the class has helped me quite a bit, and further classes will do me some good. Maybe one of these days I'll put some of my class pictures up on the web...

Slept on the couch again yesterday. Had a dream that I
went to Sams Club and bought a truck. Dodge Ram
Laredo, fire engine red. But as I was paying for it, I
realized that I didnt know what options I was getting.
It was a relief to wake up and find it was all a
dream. I cant imaginine what my credit card statement
would have looked like...

There are a few nice things about being on 3rd shift.
10% shift premium means another $500 per paycheck. The
fact that today is Tuesday even though I started on
Monday night means that I only have one more day of
work this week (I am taking Thursday and Friday off to
prepare for the party). Plus, dozing off for an hour
is just par for the course. And there arent dozens of
big bosses watching your every move. I wonder if I
should take this shift for the long term...

Well, there have to be some downsides, right? Well, for one, there's the clothes. Anime characters almost never change clothes. It happens so rarely that if someone wears something different for even one minute of one episode, it's significant and often memorable. Like the one episode of Noir where Mireille wears a sundress instead of a miniskirt. Or that midway through the Escaflowne series Hitomi changes from the school uniform to an ornate dress which she tears into off so she's back into a short skirt. But in reality, people shower and change every day. Changing every episode would be nice, but everyone in the anime industry refuses to go through all the extra work of animating new clothes.

There's more I could write about, if I could gather my thoughts... but I'm pretty scatterbrained right now... need sleep, but must work.

My day at work was a complete waste. I woke up late, took a nap after lunch, and left a little early. I feel justified; I have to work tonight too. 10pm is only 2 more hours away. I'm still dead tired. This is going to be fun...

This is going to be a messed up week. Prepping for a party means cleaning up. Plus, I have no idea how I'm going to adapt my sleep schedule.

I was up all Wednesday night printing my pictures for class. We were required to turn in 6 with bright and bold colors and 6 examples of letters in nature. For some reason, I decided to print all of the ones I took that were at least decent, maybe 35 in all, and that took me all night. It kind of paid off, I guess. I was complemented on a couple of the pictures. A number of them were given "I really like this, but..." I guess that's good; I can't expect to have perfect pictures, can I? That's why I'm taking a class.

Well, it was pretty good, I guess. Like in the original AYA, they have to continue to dodging an official relationship because of the possible disgrace that can be brought to the Sakura family. Everyone still loves Hanabashi-sama, but they spend more time focusing on everyone else, particularly Chika-chan. I really only liked the episodes that Kaoru and Aoi got to spend time together. I was disappointed that they didn't really end the story, either, but instead let it roll into the possibility of 3rd season, and I think I made my thoughts on that kind of writing quite clear in the last post. Oh well, at least it's out of the way now.

There are a number of arguments about why animation is better than real video. For example, as (I believe) the creator of Perfect Blue once pointed out, animation is the only form of video in which artist can show exactly what he wants to show.

But there's more, when it comes to why anime is much better than American television. My favorite reason is that most anime series have a finite end, planned from the start. For example, I'm watching Desperate Housewives right now, and I'm sure they'll really screw up the ending just because they will want to make a 2nd season. Look at 24; it was perfectly planned out, well executed, and then it ended. But then they decided to make a 2nd season because it was so popular, and they just screw it up more and more... The problem is that American TV shows are not set up to tell a story; they're just setup to cycle through an endless loop of character development, repeated jokes, and poorly written sexual tension.

Of course, not all anime are capable of telling stories either. Attempts at humor can plague romances, poorly written romances could wreck actions, and of course there will be times where cheap short-cuts in the animation will haunt the series. Oh well, I guess I'll have to take whatever I can get.

I finally got around to watch the third anime series of the .hack continuum. I watched .hack//sign a few years ago when it first came out. While I thought the first series was decent, not really good, not bad. Many people complained that there wasn't enough action. Well, what can you expect; it was a drama that happened to take place in an online RPG. Then there was the second series was .hack//liminality, the OAVs that came with the 4 PS2 games. I thought it was more mediocre than the original series, this time being based entirely in the real world, who get involved with each other after meeting in the game.

Anyway, .hack//bracelet is a lot closer to what people expected out of the first series. The new characters actually go through battles, yelling out spells and special attacks. It was actually pretty interesting, though it would probably would have made more sense if I actually took the time to play the 4 games (which, incidently, I already own). So, it was better than the first series, a constant competition between evil hackers and the good guys. Worth watching if you like RPGs, I guess.

Uh oh... Time to start rearranging my funds, cut back
my mortgage payments, tighten down on my spending,
packing my own lunches,and figure out what the hell Im
doing wrong with my finances. Crap...