The Bipolar Otaku

I had been thinking, over the past few weeks, about the how the faith-life of my family has changed. My two brothers, when they were in high school and college, were heavily involved in the church, both helping in the youth group, both teaching confirmation classes, one even serving on the parish council. And suddenly they stopped: one stopped suddenly, one kind of drifted around for a few years before he finally gave up. As for myself, I stopped being active in church when I finished high school, but years and years later, started getting more and more involved again. And as I thought about all this, I think it all came down to one person.

You see, we had a deacon as our youth minister. He was an extremely energetic and lively person. He had an presence that people felt, which they were energized by. He was, for most of the people, like a modern personification of Christ. For example, during "spirit walk" meditations, they tell you to picture Christ; I would bet that 3 out of 4 people who were active in the church back then pictured this deacon. Not that we thought he was actually Christ, but he still ended up being the center of many people's faith.

For me, I got separated from the church because he was suggesting I go seek psychological help after he found out I had tried to commit suicide more than a year ago. I was fine! (at least, at that particular moment). Imagine, though, if Jesus told you were crazy. I refused to trust him, or the church he represented. Eventually I came back around, but who knows if I would have done it if he was still there.

But later, it ended up that this deacon was either fired or invited to leave or something, by a new pastor. That's where one of the brother's leaves. A few years later, after deciding there's nothing left for him at that church, then the other one leaves. I guess it would be one thing if they left and then became active in another church. But I don't think they even believe in Christ anymore. Well, I know one will even admit to being agnostic (in his case, believing there may be a higher power, but that it cannot be defined or known). So I kind of think, now, that while they were active in the church, they did't really have a faith in God or in Jesus, but they only had faith in that deacon, and when he left, so did all their beliefs. It's sad, really. And I keep thinking I need to do something about it, but I'm not sure what...