The Bipolar Otaku

So this, I think, is the end of my current discernment. I have an impediment and an irregularity, and I do not believe that I have yet displayed sufficient evidence that God has provided me with grace to overcome those impediments. I have to rationally consider this a sign that I am currently not prepared to enter life as a seminarian and a candidate for priesthood. I won't consider it impossible for sometime in the future, but for now, it won't happen. For now, a faithful layman I will remain. But, in the meantime, I will need to consider the charisms of priesthood that I found attractive, the aspects of the calling that I thought I felt, and what among those I can integrate into my life as a layman.

I also need to consider going back to therapy. I haven't been to a psychiatrist in months (April 14, and the only thing I did with him was reduce my dosage of Seroquel to 200mg, get a blood test, and set up an appointment which I cancelled because I was leaving town. I may not have said it, but my lack of writing about my doctors appointments were simply because I haven't had any! Since then, I have stopped taking lithium, stopped going to any form of therapy, and have reduced myself to 50-100mg of Seroquel (biting 200mg tablets into quarters, thirds, or halves, depending on how much time I have to sleep). There is an obvious possibility that that this medical change is related to my present circumstances, but who can tell for sure?