The Bipolar Otaku

And when you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by men. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by men but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. (Matt. 6:16–18; cf. Mark 2:18–20)

I'm still thinking about doing a major fast for Lent - bread and rice, water and coffee and tea, no sweetners, no milk, no juice, no soup, no other food. I'll allow an exception if I eat at a soup kitchen, perhaps I'll allow myself to drink broth if I really need to, or of course I'll stop if it's a medical emergency. I also want to write a prayer every day for some group of people who I want to intercede for and thus dedicate my fasting. I will have to step up my almsgiving, which should be easy since I won't have lunch and dinner costs. It would be nice if I could go to daily mass, but I'm not sure I'll be able to commit to that. Also, I want to not use credit cards if at all avoidable (perhaps if I want to give to a particular charity online or if I get accepted to school and need to register and buy books). However, the important part will be to show my joy, because if I appear miserable during the fast, then I won't be doing anything for myself or for others. If that happens, I will have to either turn my attitude around or just break the fast.

I'm not too concerned about whether or not I'll be able to handle 40 days of this... at least I wouldn't be if I were alone. From experience, I know I find it really easy to fast and dedicate daily prayer time when I'm out on the road, but when I'm at home I find it really difficult. And it's difficult when I try to spend time with my family (who often want to meet for dinner), especially difficult when I hang out with friends at a restaurant after mass, and I am certain that it will be most especially difficult when I finally decide to ask someone out on a date. Can you picture that: "Yeah, she'll have the filet mignon and I'll have a dinner roll." At the same time, I think it might drive me to be creative... cook dinner instead of going to a restaurant, pack a picnic basket, help together at soup kitchens...

But then again, hopefully everyone will be cool with it and be supportive. I think she is the kind of woman that would help me do it rather than drag me down or get snippy because of what I'm doing "to her". However, I would still wonder what I am doing to her...

In any case, it will be a trial, and I won't be able to do it alone.

So Ash Wednesday is just 7 days away... I'm going to fast the next few of days (until Sunday), just to get myself back into the habit of not going out to eat.